...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
