i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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