both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
