So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So much rum. So many feels.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
