3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
