if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
