Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
