like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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