Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
