Nicole vs. Life
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
