You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
