So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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