It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
