he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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