dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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