Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
