PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
