The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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