Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
