exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
