I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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