so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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