i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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