So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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