8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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