I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
