Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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