You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
