Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
