but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
