this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
