i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
