And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
