apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
