btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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