We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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