She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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