After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
