so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
