i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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