And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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