your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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