is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
