I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
