TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex on a dog bed..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
