I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
