By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize