I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
