I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
