Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
